i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
