He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
