You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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