she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
