found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
