Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
