Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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