She announced her abortion via fbk
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
