barbara walters just said penis...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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