No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
