I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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