So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
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What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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