how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
