I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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