Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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