whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
