i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
