if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
