Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
grandma shit on top of the toilet
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
