shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
