Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
