let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
