508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
