So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
