there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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