She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
