so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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