Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
