i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize