ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
