never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
