On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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