You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
