She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
