I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
