is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
