I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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