we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize