If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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