This is not my ceiling
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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