just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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