Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He felt like a one man threesome
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
