She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
