It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
