Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I am midnight drunk by noon
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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