i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This is my gift to your gina
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
