We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
