girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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