check it out our google latitudes are spooning
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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