He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
