I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
