You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Is Oprah even human
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
