Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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