I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize