'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
