Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
