There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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