Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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