so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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